


bury a friend

by julesandothernecessities



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers 4, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Trailer, Gen, Grief, M/M, Pining, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Violence, but it’ll probably make you sad too, heavily inspired by that scene of steve with his shield in the new trailer, i’m sorry i made myself sad, mega angst, this makes no sense guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-24 02:09:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17695601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julesandothernecessities/pseuds/julesandothernecessities
Summary: When it came to it, Thanos breaching past the horizon over the swarms of countless alien minions, Steve felt assured. The plan would work. He’d fight, his friends would flee and be safe to live and fight another day.His fingers only slightly shook as he tightened the strap of his shield. A voice, Tony’s, called for retreat over the comms, like they all had planned. But Steve and Natasha knew otherwise.





	bury a friend

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this during the lecture of one of my classes haha :’) i haven’t written anything in so long and this is the first i’ve written for this pairing, so please be kind and considerate

They’d planned for this. Natasha and Steve, in the bowels of the quinjet, hastily and quietly whispering to one another so they couldn’t be overheard. 

Natasha had been reluctant and torn, but reasonable and brave enough to see of the stakes at hand. Steve had been adamant, making her swear that if it came to it, she would fulfill her role. 

She swore. They were at an understanding and a deal, confidants. Steve felt assured, focusing on the notion that this would save his friends rather than the sense of betrayal they would all ultimately feel. 

When it came to it, Thanos breaching past the horizon over the swarms of countless alien minions, Steve felt assured. The plan would work. He’d fight, his friends would flee and be safe to live and fight another day. 

His fingers only slightly shook as he tightened the strap of his shield. A voice, Tony’s, called for retreat over the comms, like they all had planned. But Steve and Natasha knew otherwise. 

While his teammates and friends piled into the quinjet, Steve’s feet were rooted to the ground several meters ahead. He did not turn around, even as he heard Tony calling for him over the comms. 

“Cap?” Tony implored from the bay doors of the ship, no suspicion or concern in his voice yet. If anything, he sounded impatient, like he expected Steve to have been there by now and was inconvenienced by that not being the case. 

When Steve didn’t answer or turn around, Tony’s voice became more pressing. “Cap? Cap, it’s time to go. Get your ass up here.”

Steve continued to stare straight ahead, jaw clenched and fingers twitching by his side. He wished he could look back, see his friends one more time before all was said and done, but he couldn’t bring himself to it. Couldn’t bring himself to see the look of disbelief and betrayal upon their faces when they finally realized what has happening. 

“Steve,” Tony’s voice shook around the word, almost pleading. He was beginning to figure it out. 

It was time now, Steve knew. No use in drawing it out and continuing to put the others at risk. Swallowing around the lump in his throat, the bitter taste of copper on his tongue, Steve turned his head just slightly, to let Tony know that he had heard. 

Static spread out over the silence of the comms, deafening, and then, “I’m sorry.”

Natasha was quick to shut the doors to the quinjet when Steve broke out into a sprint. While the ship fled from the fight, Steve ran head-on into it. Grant his friends the time and opportunity they needed to escape, to keep them safe from the clutches of Thanos. They weren’t ready to face him yet. 

Steve wasn’t, either. But he was ready to die if it meant saving his friends, saving the world and bringing back the ones they had lost. 

He had been so insistent in not trading lives before. But he hadn’t understood what was all on the line then. He understood now. Nothing could make him regret this choice. Except for lying to the other, not having enough time. Hearing Tony’s frantic voice, not being strong enough to spare the man a good enough explanation except for an apology. Not being strong enough to tell Tony how much he meant to him, how he was so sorry for everything, and how he knew that this was the right thing to do. 

Thanos was looking at the quinjet, now a spec in the sky, when Steve got to him. The Titan didn’t get to look long enough to form a plan of assault when Steve’s shielded fist collided with his jaw. 

That certainly got Thanos’ attention. Perfect. Steve braced himself, and prayed that this would be enough to buy the others time. 

It had only taken Tony seconds to realize just what was going on. But that was a few seconds too many, the doors already shut, the team already in the sky and Steve running to his death. 

Whipping around, Tony found Natasha already standing there, a guilty expression on her face and an excuse on her lips. Tony didn’t give her the chance. 

“What the hell,” Tony growled, “does Cap think he’s doing?”

“Nothing that we didn’t plan,” Natasha stated, clearly making an attempt to put herself between Tony and the door, like that would do anything to stop him from getting out. 

Tony scoffed, incredulous. “The plan was to kick ass and hightail it out of here if Thanos showed his ugly face. We didn’t leave any room for negotiations for any of us to stay behind.”

Natasha swallowed, pressing her lips into a tight line, before responding, “Cap and I took the liberty to make a few changes to the plan,” and when Tony shot her a venomous, incensed look, she ducked her head and weakly added, “without the rest of the team knowing.”

Feeling weak at the knees, a sense of nausea crashing over him, Tony shifted where he stood and lifted his chin toward the ceiling. He closed his eyes, shaking his head and trying to keep himself from lashing out. This wasn’t the first time Steve had lied to him. Tony wasn’t sure which lie hurt the most. He didn’t want to linger on it. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he hissed out, teeth grit and eyes remaining shut. The sense of betrayal stung almost as much as the sense of worry over Steve’s chances of surviving. 

Natasha paused, and when she answered it was so quiet that Tony wouldn’t have known she spoke if he hadn’t opened his eyes and looked at her. 

“Because you would have tried to stop him.”

Tony didn’t need to hear anything else, his helmet slipping itself back over his head and hand reaching out to open the doors. One of Natasha’s hands shot out to grab hold of something to keep her from being sucked out of the ship, the other reaching out to uselessly try to stop Tony. 

Her attempts to shout warnings at him were drowned out by the roaring wind, and Tony was dropping into the air and rocketing towards the earth. 

He ordered FRIDAY to accelerate the boosters. He doubted that he’d be fast enough to get there in time, but the itching doubt and fear only drove him to try harder. 

Thanos’s and Steve’s fighting forms were tiny dots in the distance, and as Tony drew closer, pushed faster, he saw that Steve was managing to hold his own. The man was clearly running out of stamina, Thanos not as invincible as before without the Stones, but still a Titan. 

Tony saw Steve suddenly tense up, Thanos clutching him, before dropping the Captain onto the ground. Stomach lurching into his throat, a cry strangling itself out, Tony prepared his canons to fire full force on the Titan. 

When he got there, Thanos was nowhere to be seen, and Steve was laying there limp and battered. 

It took no consideration, Tony immediately sliding to Steve’s side rather than searching for where Thanos had gone. He slid to his knees and removed his helmet, his mind blank. The sight of Steve, struggling to inhale past his bleeding lips, left Tony speechless and still. 

All he could do was stare, and let Steve reach out with a shaky hand to grab Tony’s. 

Tony couldn’t even find the strength, so shocked beyond use, to look for Steve’s injury, to stop the bleeding and offer words of comfort. 

Steve didn’t seem to be searching for any of those, simply gazing up at Tony and gripping his hand. 

“You got this,” Steve gritted out. He was in pain, but didn’t seem afraid of it. He was persistent to tell Tony, to let him know. “You can save them. Bring them back.”

Still unable to muster up a reply, all Tony could do was grasp Steve’s hand back, to try to listen and make sense of the cruelty and unfairness of the world. 

Steve continued to talk, exerting all of his effort into it. It was difficult to form words around the blood in his mouth, vision becoming blurry, but he kept his focus on Tony. 

“It’s you. It’s always been you,” Steve rasped, sounding breathless in every sense of the word. 

A hint of a smile tugged at Steve’s mouth, and Tony couldn’t for the life of him understand how a man so close to death, in so much pain, could seem so accepting of this. Tony couldn’t accept this. 

“I’m sorry,” Steve continued, forcing the words out. “I’m so— I wish we had more time. I’m sorry. I—“

Steve’s mouth remained open, his throat working to say more words, but only coughs came out. He gasped for air, clutching Tony’s hand more tightly, his blue gaze gentle yet desperate on the other man. He needed to tell him. He should have, sooner. 

Then, he went limp, his lips still parted but no longer trying for breath, eyes still blue but lifeless, no spark or warmth. Tony’s hold on him was the only thing keeping them connected. The ringing in Tony’s ears drowned out FRIDAY’s soft and sorry announcement that Steve Rogers was dead. 

Tony didn’t know how long he knelt there, clutching Steve’s hand and hunched over his body. All Tony knew was that while Steve used his last moments to assure and comfort him, Tony had done nothing of the like in return, when Steve needed it most. 

He had sat and stared, struggled to accept, defiant of the death of the legend he had grown up hearing about, of the hero that he had fought and fought with, of the man who had become his friend and who he had longed for. 

When Natasha came rushing to his side, grabbed his shoulder, assessed him, he didn’t feel it. He didn’t look. He didn’t listen He didn’t speak. 

He bowed his head over Steve’s body. Hunched, grasping the man’s lifeless hand, refusing to let go, and screamed.

**Author's Note:**

> omg what was steve gonna say ??? ? aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


End file.
